It’s something so many women have done, often think about, or have to do to get pregnant, and yet no one really talks about it! If you’re on the fence… this is your sign to freeze your flippin’ eggs! It’s painful, scary, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming, but holy smoke does it take a huge burden off when you’re done!
I did it at 36, an old broad in the reproductive world. Old as all get out. Geriatric if you will. Ugh my heart hurts just writing that!!! I felt (feel) like a baby spring chicken, and yet ovaries don’t give a flip about how old you feel or how much money you (don’t) have.
Here’s what I’ll tell you about how I felt during the whole process: mainly overwhelmed. There are so many moving parts between the various medications, constant blood work, ultrasounds, injections, dosages, and so on.
I really had to get over my fear of needles to get through this. Exposure therapy amiright?
Pre-Op:
The physical part is tough, but the mental is a whole other level. The most emotional part for me was every ultrasound. That’s when they initially tell you how many follicles you’re working with, and how well they’re reacting to the medication every test thereafter. In other words, the general number of viable eggs they’ll be able to retrieve. Some tests go better than others I’ll just say that. When things looked a little wonky I almost felt like a failure. Like, as a woman my body is supposed to be able to conceive. That’s what we’ve been conditioned to believe anyways.
Oh, keep in mind your hormones are INSANE because you’re just constantly injecting several different ones at a time into your body. My reactions were way over the top compared to normal (which is saying something). So buckle up for a wild, emotional ride. My doc even told me to tell my manager at work, if I felt comfortable, so they’d know what was going on. (I did share with my boss because I knew and trusted her, but don’t get it twisted: you absolutely have zero obligation to share your medical journey with anyone at work!)
First shipment made it! Does this count as an “unboxing”??
The overwhelming bit. So many different drugs, very specific instructions, timeline, dosing, all while giving yourself the injections. You can see part of the instruction chart… It’s a whole thing.
That trigger shot needle sent me to outerspace I swear. Whyyy is it so big??
Now the physical: I actually didn’t find the injections themselves to be too painful. Scary at first, because I’m not a big needle girl, but one of them is tiny and the other I got used to pretty quickly. The only one that really got me was the big ass (in the ass) trigger shot the night before retrieval. That one is a doozy!
My boobs got HUGE! They were big before, but goddamn! I guess this could be a plus for some, I was pissed. Most women I’ve talked to say theirs got big and went back down… mine stayed. Le sigh. Ice packs were my best friend, for both the injection sites and my headaches.
What I had the most challenge with were the estrogen pills. I don’t know if it’s normal or not, but I had the most severe pressure headaches that I didn’t even know were possible. I almost went to the hospital, but I kept my composure and basically sat in the bath or on the couch with a cold compress to relieve a little agony. I’ve never had such pain before and no one could tell me if it was normal… figures since no one gives a shit about women’s pain.
This was me for a week straight just trying to survive my pressure headaches.
Lastly, the bloating right before retrieval. I felt like a bowling ball and I could actually feel all my big follicles floating around in me! It was nuts. I had to walk almost stooped for a day or two beforehand. Everyone’s physical and emotional reactions will be different so I’m merely sharing as a reference point so anyone who experiences the same knows that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
See you on the other side…
Post-Op:
They pulled 18 viable eggs outta me! I’m patting my old ass on the back for that. I got a few more that matured overnight too. The older you are the less likely it is to have a good outcome, so I’m quite happy with my result. Anything in the double digits past the age of 35 is a win IMO.
Okay, not to scare anyone, but I was in HELLA pain when I woke up from surgery. In hindsight, I think there were other things at play that contributed to this (likely a fibroid), but I don’t know for sure and won’t go into it. I was at about a 9 in terms of pain when I came to, apparently this is very abnormal. Go me. So they tried to give me oxycodone I declined, so they gave me hydrocodone. Apparently this is slightly less effective, but less addictive. I had to stay at the hospital for an extra hour while it kicked in before I was able to function. Shout out to my girl Ash for picking me up from surgery. You’re the real MVP. I know I was in pain and had cramping for a few days afterwards, but I can’t remember much else. Recovery is generally pretty quick for most women.
Hahaha I’m crying laughing at this. Poor me! How did I even manage to take a selfie in this state? Hopefully you look & feel better than this after your surgery! I’m wrecked lol.
Everyone’s experiences are different, so don’t expect that what you go through/have been through mirrors my own experience. In fact, my friend mentioned above was able to go to brunch and grab a beer the same morning as her egg retrieval!! WTF?? Truly everyone is different. I’m one of the lucky ones who is just in excruciating pain where the majority of other women don’t feel anything like me. Maybe it’s because they ripped so many eggs out? The research on what women experience is scarce, so who knows when/why some women experience more pain post-op.
Words from my fertility center:
“Egg freezing can give you autonomy over your own fertility timeline. We typically recommend freezing before the age of 40, with the late 20s to mid 30s being the best time to freeze. That being said, every patient is unique, and we are happy to meet to discuss your options.” –RPMG (I really like their website and have a few FAQs that you may want to check out)
The number one hesitation I hear from younger women when I very strongly suggest that they should freeze their eggs is that they don’t have enough money. Trust me, I hear you. Why do you think it took me until the ripe age of 36 to get mine done? I wish I had taken out a loan or gone into debt to do it earlier though. If you have really good health insurance then a good chunk of it is likely covered. It’s expensive either way, and I wont pretend that it’s not. Here’s my perspective on the cost though: women are choosing to stay single longer, marry later or never, and thus, by the time we want kids we might be past our prime. Egg freezing is an insurance policy so you don’t have to rush into any decisions or questionable relationships for the sake of reproducing. And I gotta tell you, I know way too many women who have done just that.
What egg freezing did for me was take the proverbial “ticking-clock” out of the equation. It literally stops the clock! What’s better than that? I didn’t even realize how much stress I was carrying as it related to thoughts like “will I, can I, what if, when” about my fertility. And honestly?… I don’t even really want kids! I’m not opposed completely, but I just don’t know. The not knowing was stressing me out because I felt like I had to make a decision and find a partner, or just do it on my own if I wanted that in my life. Now, I don’t worry about it at all because I know my eggs are perpetually stuck at 36. It’s not a guarantee that they’ll be viable and that I’ll be able to conceive using them, but it gives me ample peace of mind. This is all a backup plan in case I can’t conceive without help at some later date.
For my corporate girlies: There are a lot of hidden medical benefits that no one knows about, so if you work in the corporate world take a look at everything that’s offered. I would also recommend taking a look at all the plan options during open enrollment that are available through your employer to see which has the most coverage for something like egg freezing, that’s still within your budget fo course. If it makes sense, think about switching your medical insurance plan the next time open enrollment comes around to help cover costs. I know this isn’t an option for a lot of women, but I did need to throw that out there. I have worked in HR for the bulk of my career so there are a few little secrets we learn that most employees don’t think about.
I had a great doctor who laid it all out on the table for me via PowerPoint; graphs and all. Sh*t I had never seen or been told before and it was a bit shocking! Why hasn’t this been so clearly brought to my attention before? Oh, because everyone hates women, I forgot for a second. I digress. The rate at which fertility drops is stark past about 30 and there’s an even more significant drop-off after 35. Hence why freezing early is best (obvi).
This chart is not exact an exact science and certainly doesn’t account for all the various factors that play into a woman’s fertility, but it’s a decent graphic to show what happens as we age. The likelihood is calculated by the number of eggs and their quality.
What questions do you have?? I’m happy to answer any questions or lend an ear if you’re thinking about/currently going through it. Reddit has also become a source of information gathering for all my surgeries. When research or women’s health and experience is limited I find it reassuring to hear directly from women who have been through it too.
Have you frozen your eggs? Comment your experience below! It helps to hear as many perspectives as possible with something like this.
PS – This ordeal is what prompted my next two surgeries that I write about; breast reduction & myomectomy. Le sigh, it never ends for women.
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